Lange Middle School
Boone County, Missouri
Was this a nightmare from which I haven’t awakened?
Or was this a nightmare come to life?
Scared to walk up to her, to talk to her, could I do this?
Confidence is all it takes, but what do you do when you have no confidence?
I ran, my hair blew in the wind,
got to the doorway,
I fell in shock, depression, and anger,
collapsing and drowning in a puddle of tears.
I stood slowly,
walking to the hospital bed made me feel like this wasn’t real,
this couldn’t happen, not to her.
Scared to hold a finger, to touch a hand,
tubes all over her hands, arms, nose, mouth,
My skin was pale like a ghost,
eyes filled with buckets of tears.
They streaked down my face, one by one.
They’re sad, depressed, angry tears.
I got the courage to hold a finger.
She used her only grip and squeezed my hand tightly as I talked to her.
“I love you and I want you to know that if you go,
it will be okay.”
My heart saying she can do it,
she can survive.
My mind telling me if she goes,
it’ll be the best for her.
She finally made her decision.
The heart beat monitor’s lines went
up, down, up, and then––
My heart beat like a drum.
We held on to each other in support.
I am broken,
but I know, eventually,
we will all meet up again,
and then we will all be okay.